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I've had Bulimia for the past 5 years. I'm 16. My teeth were wrecked. I recently had countless fillings and spent so much money to make my mouth look normal again. And although I don't purge often, I still slip, because my mother buys food she knows I can't resist to tempt me.
Other than that, everyday I have coffee in the morning, I don't eat throughout college, I stay behind until 6pm without fail doing my work, so my mum can't see what I'm (not) eating. I tell her I eat at college and that after I'm done for the day me and my friends go and buy chips. Lies. I go home alone, because there's rarely anyone there at 6.
So i get home and I am forced to eat something small. Which is almost acceptable, because it's a sandwich or something tiny. And a yogurt.
Fridays though... that is the worst day for me. College closes earlier, so when I get home I have 40 minutes alone while my mum picks my brother up from school. So I eat and eat and eat and eat until I feel as though my stomach is literally going to burst. Then I go to the bathroom and puke it up.
Everyday I do 30 minutes of cardio exercise and 200 crunches.
My mum found out about Mia last year.
Know what she did?
Took the fucking piss.
I cough, and she says in this snide, nasty voice "stop making yourself sick"
When she notices that I'm not eating she forces me to eat. And I mean shoving-food-in-my-mouth.
So I avoid the flat as much as possible; studying, shopping with friends, whatever excuse I can come up with.
So I recently stopped eating. It ... jesus, this feels so much better.
This amazing, wonderful control and the dizzy, delightful feeling you get from being empty. My hand goes cold and my head spins when I get up too quickly and I LOVE it.
I was 9.7 stone/136/61.7
I am now 8.9 stone/124 lbs/56.2 kg
I want to get to 7 stone/98 lbs/44.5 kg
At the moment, it's hard to do much, especially at the weekend. It's raining and I have no where to go, so I hide the vile stuff as much as I can, and it rots in a plastic bag until Monday when I can dump it in a bin on the way to college.
I'm 5 ft 5.7" and currently a size 10 (UK)
I do abuse laxatives, especially at the weekend. I also buy adios max. I don't know where I would be without them. They speed up your metabolism, so as I don't eat throughout the day, I take about 5 a day. I'm only supposed to take 3 a day, but it doesn't actually harm you. Well, the leaflet says that it doesn't.
I'd been ill, in bed, not eating with some kind of virus. I was 8 stone/112 lbs/50.8 kg at that point, and I was feeling faint before I was set to go to the Art Museum with the college. Instead of going to my room, I just slipped to the floor in the middle of the kitchen that morning. My mum freaked out, almost killed me and forced me to eat 3 scramble eggs. For a month I was forced to eat a huge dinner when I got home from college. That is how I got to 9.7 stone.
I don't encourage eating disorders, in fact, I'd rather that there were less cases. I hate it how some idiot comes out and is like "I have an ED!!! Look at me! Pay attention to me! See these bones? I'm so vain! I'm better than you!"
I don't tell people in real life. I told one girl at college, because she had it too. I thought we'd be good friends, but every time I see her, she is eating. Party rings, muffins, crisps, chocolate bars, drinking Lucozade. I can't be around that, so I avoid her as much as possible.
To me, it's a secret achievement, something I can see I'm good at. The rest of my life falls in line when I am losing weight. I have to control everything at once. I am incapable of concentrating on one aspect of my life at a time.
I'm quite an extreme person; all or nothing.
I love getting drunk. I can forget, escape everything for a little while. I'm confident, louder, a hell of a lot friendlier and I love it. I wish I could drink all the time, but that would make me an alcoholic and fat. So I do it at parties, when there's a legitimate reason for it.
I don't smoke cigarettes, though there was a trip to Turkey and I bought a shisha. Best thing ever :)

Turkey. God, that was close. I had half a meal on that trip. Lost 8 lbs in 4 days. I spent the whole time walking around Turkey taking photographs in a sleep-deprived, hungover state. We went to a bar and got drunk. We staggered back to the hotel at 2am, stayed up gossiping and laughing with the guys until 4 am when we crashed out either in random rooms or the wrong bed. Up at 7 am to shower and get dressed. Out at 9 to spend the whole day walking around, taking more pictures. In the evening we go to a restaurant. I have a salad, but there's so much vinegar on it I can't manage it.
One of the girls tells a teacher I haven't eaten. I tell them I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat pizza and chips make me feel ill. They start to get suspicious. So we go to a club and they buy everyone about a million platters of fruit. I can see that they're watching me, so I go from table to table, eating the fruit, ordering more beer, finally going outside, where I discovered shisha.
We get back at 3 am, talk about how awesome this trip is and how we don't want to leave. I don't sleep. At 7 everyone goes to breakfast. I stay in our room, 'packing'. A teacher knocks on the door, asking if I'm coming to breakfast. So I go, and drink coffee. They ask me pointedly if I'm going to eat. I tell them I have a hangover and can't manage it. We land at Gatwick and they are still watching, frowning when I lose my balance and almost faint. Should they call my mother? No, no, don't worry. I go to Marks&Spencer's, buy a pack of hot cross buns and stuff one in my mouth, making sure the teachers can see me. I slip some to my friends, try these, they're amazing! I turn around and stuff the last one in my mouth. The teachers look less suspicious, she was probably just not used to turkish food! She's fine!
On the coach I laugh and hand out sausage rolls, swap mobile numbers and e-mail addresses.
I come home and dread sets on me again. I don't want to be here. No, I'm not hungry, thank you. Look, I bought so many things! Look at them! So shiny and tasty! And this tea! It's divine! I'll put some on.
And it's over. At college, the tutors ask me if I'm ok. I'm fine! I lie easily and brightly, a perky smile on my face. I don't think Turkey agreed with me, but we had a huge dinner last night, with that tea I bought for dessert! I really missed my mum's cooking, you know! I must dash now, I want some lunch! See you later!

That was the first time I experienced the dizzy high of starvation. I loved it. And here I am.

In case I didn't answer everything in that huge fricking essay, ask me whatever you want :)

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